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Zoo-like is what the Admirals wrote in evaluation of the overall behavior of the crew after a surprise inspection but Admiral Pike intercepted the report before it got up to Command because he understands their need to periodically let down their hair and howl at the moon.

Yelling is discouraged on board the Enterprise except when playing charades and shouting out the answers is the only way to get the win for Team Blue.

X never ever marks the spot until Jim draws one over his heart for Spock to find.

Wishing will not make it so unless you are wishing a certain Vulcan will fall in love with you when he already has.

Visiting new and unexplored planets is equally frightening and exciting, and despite what Starfleet seems to believe, only sometimes ends up with all hell breaking loose.

Until the crew met James Kirk they thought the most exciting things they would encounter would be found outside the Enterprise.

Tiberius shouldn’t be anyone’s middle name, and on the rare occasion one of the crew asks the Captain about it, he laughs and says his mother had hopes of him becoming a Roman Emperor.

Surak, Spock is sure, would have changed his mind about suppressing all emotion if he had been the one to fall in love with a certain Captain.

Really, the entire ship knew they were meant to be together.

Quality time together can be hard to come by so they have learned to make the most of every minute they have to themselves.

Pillorying has been outlawed for centuries but there are certain yeomen who make Jim think those laws may have been premature.

Occasionally Jim has to reprimand one of his crew and he has decided that it’s the worst part of being Captain, worse even than paperwork.

Naughty words start appearing on the walls of Rec Room 4 and Jim decides to leave them because graffiti is a time-honored Human tradition and they secretly make him laugh.

Mastering Human humor has never been high on Spock’s list of priorities until he decides he wants to be the one to make Jim laugh until milk comes out his nose.

Leisure time can be in short supply which is why Jim turns a blind eye when his crew plays Phrenzied Phaser Phire on their computers, and he knows they’ll stop when their duty requires their undivided attention.

Kidnapping is frowned on but if it helps to capture the flag and secure victory for Team Gold Jim can be persuaded to look the other way.

Just because we can doesn’t mean we should was inadequate to dissuade Jim from trying nil-gravity parasailing on shoreleave which predictably ended in disaster and a lengthy recovery period in MedBay.

Injuries are to be expected while exploring space but Bones still can’t figure out how Jim dislocated both hips or why Spock looked so embarrassed when Bones asked him about it.

Hard-headed is all-too-often used to describe Jim but he prefers focused and confident which Spock says do not have the same meaning although Jim chooses to ignore him.

Gravy makes everything taste better Bones always says while eating whatever it is buried beneath.

Fresh food is a rare and cherished treat during space travel and Jim seems to find ways to requisition it more often than do most Captains, securing the devotion of even those crewmembers who don’t believe he really is a miracle worker.

Exceptional in all circumstances – that’s how Starfleet describes the Command Crew when they are awarded the George Kirk Commendation of Excellence.

Despite Jim’s best efforts to convince them otherwise, Starfleet continues to consider him their number one hero and prize addition to any official function, a fate made easier because he drags Spock along with him.

Captains don’t go on away missions is the beginning of nearly every message he receives from Starfleet, right before their acknowledgement that if he hadn’t gone planetside the negotiations would not have ended successfully.

BFF is a term Spock found silly, childish, and idiotic right up to the first time he heard Jim use it when referring to him.

All things considered, Jim can’t imagine what his life would be like if he hadn’t boarded the shuttle and thanks Chris on the anniversary of that date, providing of course he is conscious or otherwise in any condition to talk.