Top Hats to Tee Shirts

If nobody wants to sell sex, it is a crime to force anyone to do so. But when men or women do want to sell their bodies, they should have that full right without encountering punishment or discrimination. If the client behaves decently, the relationship between the sex buyer and the sex seller must be considered a purely private transaction. Nils Johan Ringdal, Love For Sale

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The next morning, Spock woke alone in the huge, fluffy bed, considering his situation. Jim had turned out to be one of the most responsive clients he had had in a very long time. For all his corporate persona, he was in fact receptive, generous, and adventurous.

A little belated, Spock thought but wisely kept to himself, Jim had requested that Spock produce his license to solicit. Prostitution had been legal for several decades, once it had finally occurred to the lawmakers that it was indeed the world’s oldest profession and nothing was going to stamp it out. Rather than prosecuting those who worked in the sex trade, the authorities provided vaccines against any STDs that still existed and required all prostitutes to be examined a minimum of twice a year. Anyone found with residual signs of communicable diseases received the appropriate medical care and a vaccine to prevent it from recurring. Most hookers, Spock included, were well supplied with condoms for any client they felt was less than honest about their physical well-being. Spock hadn’t used one with Jim the night before and doubted it would be an issue now that their time was coming to an end.

When Spock glanced at the clock, he was somewhat surprised to discover it was only 6:30. Jim was up despite sleeping for barely three hours. Spock could tell from the faint fragrances lingering that Jim had already showered.

Spock left the bed for the gigantic bathroom, larger than most apartments he had seen. Rather than try to collect his clothes scattered throughout the penthouse, Spock pulled on the dark green fluffy robe hanging in the bathroom closet. He glanced in the mirror, not entirely pleased with what he saw. His hair hung down past his shoulder blades, his ears more prominently displayed. He had acquired a bruise on his jaw but had no recollection of how it had gotten there. Jim had not hit him – he was certain of that. He supposed it was of no importance.

He would have liked to brush his teeth properly but that was not possible. Instead, he used his finger to substitute for a toothbrush, feeling somewhat refreshed for his efforts.

The trail of discarded clothes, both his and Jim’s, lead him past the sitting room to the dining room. Jim sat at the far end of the table which was filled to overflowing with covered dishes, fruit, carafes, and what looked like Vulcan gespar. Spock had not eaten gespar for many years and had not been aware that it was available on Earth.

“I didn’t know what you wanted,” Jim said with a smile when he looked up from his padd. “So I ordered one of each.” He was already dressed for his day in another perfectly tailored, extremely expensive suit, the blue tie an exact match to the color of his eyes.

Spock nodded once, reaching for a gespar and taking it off the plate. He stood several feet from the table as he bit into the delicious fruit, watching Jim drink his coffee. He nearly had to look away when Jim turned his bright blue eyes on him with a studious expression.

“Sit,” Jim said finally, waving at one of the five empty chairs arranged around the table.

Spock did it slowly, his body tense, his uneasy demeanor signaling his concern that he was going to be thrown out any second.

“It’s just us, Spock. Relax,” Jim coaxed, standing up for one of the carafes. He poured steaming water into the cup closest to Spock, handing him a tin of tea and an infuser. Spock immediately recognized it as Vulcan spice tea.

“Does this hotel have many Vulcan visitors?” Spock asked as he prepared his tea.

“Enough that they keep Vulcan food in stock,” Jim confirmed. He was studying Spock before reaching over to turn his head gently to the right. “Did I bruise you?”

“I do not know,” Spock said. “I was unaware of any pain.”

“I’m sorry if I did that to you,” Jim said, touching the dark green splotch with two soft fingers.

“I do not think you are to blame,” Spock said.

Jim nodded and leaned back in his chair, drinking more coffee.

Curiosity got the better of Spock and he lifted the lids covering the plates. There were waffles, pancakes, vegetable casseroles, mixed fruits – a practically endless variety of choices. “Have you eaten already?”

Jim shrugged. “I’m not especially hungry.”

“All of this,” Spock said, waving a hand at the dishes. “All of this is for me?”

“I wanted to make sure there was something you’d like,” he explained as though there was not an entire week’s worth of food on the table before them. “You need to put on a few pounds.”

For the first time, Jim detected the barest hint of amusement in the dark brown eyes. “My mother would concur.”

Jim laughed at that, reaching over to spear a waffle which he put of Spock’s plate. “These are really good. There’s strawberry syrup if you don’t want maple.”

“Strawberry?” Spock repeated, looking for the correct container.

“Here,” Jim said, handing him a warm bowl with a miniature ladle sunk in the red syrup.

Spock added a generous portion to his waffle before cutting it up with his fork and eating each piece with surprising delicacy.

“I have to leave in a few minutes,” Jim said as he continued to watch Spock eat. “The suite will be cleaned at 9:45. You are welcome to stay until 9:30.”

Spock nodded in understanding.

“Here’s some money for a cab. It will get you back in 20 minutes instead of an hour on the bus,” Jim said, giving him a credit chip that would more than pay for a taxi back downtown.

“Thank you,” Spock said, reaching for another waffle. “May I utilize the pool in your bathroom?”

Jim laughed at that. “Sure. Just stay in the shallow end.”

Spock nodded again, finishing the third waffle. “Thank you,” Spock said as he stood looking down at Jim.

“Thank you,” Jim replied, smiling up at Spock. Spock tried very hard to not notice that his smile crinkled the corners of his eyes, eyes that turned even bluer – impossible though that seemed.

Spock made himself leave the dining room, suppressing the regret he felt trying to rise at the thought of never seeing Jim again. Well. That was the choice he had made. No use wishing for that which was unattainable.

When the bath was filled with hot water and far more bubbles than strictly sensible, Spock discarded the robe and sank into the luxury of the tub.

He was still enjoying the soak when Jim entered the room, smiling at Spock submerged to his chin, his eyes closed. He was listening to his own private concert through the headphones, his right hand out of the water but still coated with bubbles. He was conducting music that Jim could not hear.

Spock felt Jim’s presence and opened his eyes to look up at him. “Hello,” he said, removing the headphones and allowing the sounds of T’Pral’s Symphony for Our Fathers escape into the room.

“I’ve been thinking,” Jim said, sitting on the edge of the tub, careful to avoid any water or soap splashed on the ceramic.

Spock raised an inquiring eyebrow at that statement.

“I am in negotiations with an old-fashioned gentleman. He doesn’t trust anyone who fails to make and maintain long-term commitments.”

Spock nodded, waiting.

“I know Vulcans don’t lie,” Jim said thoughtfully. “But if you were willing to … masquerade as my ‘significant other’ for the duration, my chances of success might be greatly increased.”

“Vulcans do not lie,” Spock confirmed. “However, there are Vulcan actors who are quite accomplished on stage and in movies.”

“True,” Jim agreed. “So would you be willing to ‘act’ like my significant other?”

“Until when?” Spock asked, considering Jim’s words.

“Friday. I fly back east then. Either I make this deal or I don’t. Whatever happens, I leave Friday.”

“I will do it,” Spock said without any hesitation.

“How much?” Jim asked with a smile that spoke of conspiracy and secrecy.

“700 credits,” Spock said.

Jim laughed, shaking his head. “Six nights at 50 credits is only 300 credits.”

“You are also requesting days. Fifty credits is generally for three or four hours.”

“500 credits,” Jim offered.

“600,” Spock countered.

“550,” Jim said.

“Done,” Spock agreed.

“Good. You’ll need a wardrobe appropriate to your new station. I’ll leave you enough credits to buy clothes for the week.”

“What type of clothes? Will there be formal occasions?” Spock asked.

“If there are, we’ll deal with it as it comes up. For now, you need slacks and shirts. With collars. And shoes. At no time will you wear those sandals you had on last night.”

Spock shrugged at that. “They are comfortable.”

“And really ugly,” Jim said with a laugh. “Tomorrow he wants to take me to the Dodgers game. Do you understand baseball?”

“I do not. However if there is a computer which I may access, I will learn the intricacies before that time.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Jim agreed.

“With whom are you meeting?” Spock asked.

“Why?”

“If I were truly your significant other, I would be cognizant of your affairs, would I not?” Spock asked reasonably.

“You’ve got a point. I am meeting with Dr. Christopher Pike. His company is the only one that manufactures eacki.”

“For reversal of Tuguzul,” Spock said in surprise.

“If we can acquire his company, we think we can combine eacki with belik'sh to reverse and possibly prevent Tuguzul,” Jim confirmed.

“You are Jim Kirk,” Spock said slightly breathless.

“Guilty as charged,” Jim agreed, not surprised that Spock had guessed.

“It is generally believed that Dr. Leonard McCoy is your significant other,” Spock said in question.

“That belief is incorrect,” Jim laughed. “We’re the best of friends and business partners. We are not sexually involved. Never have been.”

Spock nodded at that. “Does Dr. Pike know the true nature of your relationship?”

“I have no idea. Don’t really care.”

“Very well. I will purchase appropriate clothes. And shoes. I will provide you with the receipts.”

“You can. But I’m not worried. If you need more money, just call me. I’ll leave my card on the dining room table. It has my cell number on it.”

“I do not have a phone,” Spock said. “I cannot call you.”

Jim laughed quietly at that. “I’ll send one over. It should arrive in the next hour. That will still leave you plenty of time to leave to go shopping before housekeeping arrives.”

Spock nodded.

“I won’t be back until late,” Jim said with a tinge of regret. “Order whatever you want to eat from room service. And please eat lunch and dinner.”

“I will,” Spock agreed.

“There’s a computer on the desk in the living room. It’s mine but it doesn’t have any important files on it. If you can’t help snooping, you won’t find anything interesting.”

“I will attempt to avoid looking at private information,” Spock responded.

“You’ll attempt to avoid it?” Jim laughed.

Spock shrugged innocently at that, nearly-laughing brown eyes looking up at Jim.

“All right. Don’t stay too long in the pool. You’ll become a Vulcan prune.”

“I will leave when the lifeguards require it,” Spock said, making Jim laugh.

“Good. Go to bed if I’m not here when you’re ready.”

“I will. Good luck today,” Spock said, watching Jim leave the bathroom with one backward glance.  Spock stayed in the bath until the water began to cool and became less pleasant. After quickly washing his hair, he left the tub to dry himself and dress. He was collecting Jim’s clothes, which he knew was no doubt unnecessary, when the doorbell rang for attention.

Spock opened the door to find a slim man dressed in a black suit, a thin black tie over a crisp white shirt, and a flat black hat perched on top of the man’s gleaming black hair.

“I’m Sulu,” the man announced. “Mr. Kirk sent me with this.”

Spock automatically accepted the cell phone, not surprised that it was state of the art. “Thank you.”

Sulu nodded. “He said I should take you downtown if you are ready.”

“Are the stores open?” Spock asked.

Sulu nodded again. “They open early for the tourists. Do you want to come now or call a cab later?” he asked, no impatience present or implied.

“Now is acceptable,” Spock decided, slipping the phone into his pocket. “Do you have time to wait while I dry my hair?”

“Sure,” Mr. Sulu agreed, entering the suite when Spock waved him in. “Mr. Kirk said I was to stay with you for as long as you wanted. He’ll borrow the Ferrari again if he needs it.”

Spock nodded at that, inviting Sulu to partake of any of the food left on the table as he disappeared into the gigantic bathroom. It didn’t take very long for him to dry and braid his hair, reemerging to find Mr. Sulu standing precisely where he had left him. “Did you want something to eat?”

“Thank you, no,” Sulu said, shaking his head. “Are you ready?”

“I am,” Spock agreed, following the shorter man out of the suite. They went down the secondary elevator to arrive at the side door Spock and Jim had used to enter the hotel.

“If you’ll wait right here, I’ll pull the car around.”

Spock nodded, standing in the shadows where the patrons of the hotel would not easily see him. It was only moments later that the black town car pulled up close to the door where Spock waited.

Spock climbed into the huge backseat, trying unsuccessfully to relax on the leather seat. He watched the scenery go by as Sulu left the drive to the hotel and went down the hill. Only a few minutes passed before he was pulling alongside the curb of the wide road, stores lining both sides.

Sulu turned and looked through the open partition. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“That will not be necessary,” Spock said.

“You sure? You’re going to have packages to take with you to the hotel. You don’t want to walk back.”

“Mr. Kirk provided me sufficient credits to avail myself of a taxi,” Spock assured him.

“All right. But if you change your mind, my number is already programmed into your phone. Call me and I’ll come pick you up,” Sulu assured him.

“I appreciate it.”

“Mr. Kirk asked me to remind you that you need casual clothes for the baseball game. And more formal clothes for anything else that may come up,” Sulu said.

“I will remember,” Spock agreed.

“And shoes,” Sulu laughed. “He said especially don’t forget new shoes.”

“He reminded me as well,” Spock said with a nod, his brown eyes sparkling with hidden laughter.

“All right. Call if you need me.”

“Be assured that I will,” Spock said, opening the door and leaving the car. “Will I see you again?”

“Without a doubt,” Sulu said, watching Spock back up after he closed the door. With a last wave, Sulu pulled back into the street. He could not help watching Spock in the rear view mirror until he was out of sight. Sulu would have preferred to remain with him but he was not going to force his company on Spock after he had refused it.

Spock looked up and down the street, wishing Sulu had delivered him to an area less ostentatious. He had been on Rodeo Drive several times but only to pass through. Now that he had instructions to purchase clothes and was standing at the epicenter of what some considered high fashion, he felt as conspicuous as a snowstorm on Vulcan. He did a good job of ignoring the frowns of those dripping in money as they passed by him. That did not make the task before him any less daunting. He suddenly knew how the first Vulcans to land on Earth felt – out of their element, in a strange land where they did not understand the language or those who spoke it.

Taking a deep breath, he glanced in several shop windows as he walked by. The first three catered exclusively to women so he ignored those. The fourth was a shop for gentleman and even though he did not really qualify, at least they sold men’s clothing. The well tailored khaki pants and light blue button down on display in the window seemed to be what Jim was expecting for him to purchase so he entered the shop.

The lone man in the boutique looked down his nose at Spock, his expression conveying his distaste for anyone not as elegantly dressed as he was. “May we assist you?” the man asked in as haughty a voice as Spock could ever recall hearing.

“I wish to purchase an outfit similar to that which you have on display,” Spock said.

The man stared at Spock, his narrow eyes sweeping Spock from head to toe, lingering a moment too long on his sandals that had seen better days. “Those items are very expensive.”

“I am not unfamiliar with the typical price of items sold on this boulevard,” Spock responded. “Further, I did not inquire about the costs. I stated I wished to make a purchase.”

“All of our items are extremely expensive,” the man repeated, his arms crossed over his narrow chest.

“As you have already informed me. I am interested in making a purchase, not discussing the costs.”

“How do you suppose you will pay for anything in this store?” the man finally said, his voice ice cold.

“With credits. As any other customer would,” Spock responded just as coldly.

The man shook his head, opening the front door. “Good day.”

Spock stared at him, not believing that he was being thrown out. Certainly he did not look like the typical customer but that did not mean he was incapable of making a purchase. “It is unwise to judge a book solely by its cover,” Spock said as he exited the store, the man not responding except for firmly closing the door when Spock was through it.

Spock stood on the sidewalk, deciding that in retrospect sending Sulu away was not a good idea. He was undecided if he should try again at a different shop, contact Sulu for his assistance, or simply give up and return to the hotel. The last option was to find a city bus to take him to his tiny apartment in the not-so-great part of town but he had agreed to assist Jim and he was not one to break his word.

He sat on a bench in the shadows of one of the stores, considering all of his options. The decision was made for him when the town car returned and parked, Sulu emerging with a broad smile.

“Not so good, huh?” Sulu asked in sympathy.

“That would be an understatement,” Spock said.

“I thought that might happen,” Sulu agreed, tossing his hat into the open window of the car. “Come on.”

Spock automatically followed the shorter man as he went down the sidewalk, whistling a jaunty tune. Sulu rounded a corner to stroll down a street with fewer shops, stopping at the one that said Top Hats to Tee Shirts. He knocked on the glass door, smiling when a man of indeterminate age with a tape measure draped around his neck appeared from the back of the store. The frown etched on his face magically transformed into a smile when he saw his visitor.

“Hikaru,” the man said in delight.

“Hiya, Floyd. We need your help.”

“Of course of course. Come in,” Floyd said, waving them both into his shop. “Ahhh… I see.” The store was surprisingly devoid of inventory, one rack of casual pants and another of shirts. There were also some ties on display but that hardly spoke of a thriving business.

Sulu nodded, glancing over at Spock. “Casual. Business. You know,” Sulu said, enumerating the items.

“Yes,” Floyd said with a nod. “I’ll get some measurements. You can pick up the ready-made tomorrow morning. Custom will take two, maybe three days.”

“I think that will be okay,” Sulu said. “If we need them sooner, I’ll let you know.”

Floyd nodded at that. “I have some I think will suffice for right now,” Floyd said, turning to go into the back area. “Come.”

Sulu nodded at Floyd, Spock following him, Sulu bringing up the rear. Sulu was explaining that appropriate clothes for the Dodger game tomorrow was their first priority. Floyd assured them that he had just the thing, bypassing the overstuffed racks filling the back room. The room they had entered was easily three times as large as the store front, every imaginable type of clothing on racks, in tidy piles, bolts of fabric arranged by type and color on the huge shelves further on.

Floyd went to two shelves, seemingly selecting items at random. He handed the shirt and pants to Spock, waving at the curtained dressing room. “Sure they’ll fit. Give them a go.”

Spock nodded and carried them into the fitting room as directed. When he emerged, he’d been transformed into a gentleman, the type that the first shop would gladly assist.

“Feel good?” Floyd asked, studying Spock with a critical eye.

“An excellent fit,” Spock confirmed, looking down at the light blue button down and dark blue pants.

Floyd squatted before him, eyeing the hem. “Could be an inch shorter. But you’ll do.”

“Thank you,” Spock said.

“Are you wearing briefs?” Floyd asked, looking up at him.

“I am,” Spock confirmed.

Floyd nodded at that. “Good. Take off the pants and come stand here,” he directed, pointing to a pedestal in front of a three-way mirror.

Spock glanced at Sulu who nodded and smiled. Assured it was standard practice, Spock slipped out of the new pants and stood as directed. Floyd quickly and efficient took the measurements he needed, handing Spock the navy pants to put back on.

“Won’t be a problem,” Floyd assured them. He scribbled information on a card and handed it to Sulu. “Take this to Earl at Advantage Shoes. He’ll take care of it.”

“Over on Fountain Way?” Sulu asked.

“That’s the one. I’ll give him a call. Let him know you are coming,” Floyd said.

“Good. And you’ll call me when the clothes are ready.”

“I will,” Floyd agreed.

“What of my clothes?” Spock asked, gesturing toward the dressing room. Floyd and Sulu exchanged a glance, Sulu laughing softly.

“You don’t need them, Spock. They’ll be replaced.”

Spock considered those words for a moment, looking at his well-worn jeans and tee shirt laying abandoned on the floor. “You are certain?”

“Absolutely. Make sure you get the credits out of them,” Sulu reminded him, Spock going through the pockets to collect them.

Floyd watched with some amusement before turning his attention to Sulu. “Please tell Mr. Kirk hello for me.”

“I will,” Sulu said with a wink. “Thanks for your help.”

Floyd returned the sentiment, walking them to the door and locking it back when they were on the sidewalk.

Comments

[tf]

KS archive actually led me here; this was a great idea/start; look forward to more.

[Tara]

I just love this. You are awesome!

[Hodahvyah]

I really enjoyed this chapter. I was a bit disappointed that Spock didn't go back and flaunt his purchases like Julia Roberts did - then I realized that such a course of action would probably not occur to a Vulcan and would be so out of character as to diminish the story.