Letters to Our Children

Our dearest Grace,

You will always hold a special place in our hearts.

You were our first. Even though you were already eight when you entered your Daddy Steve’s life, he loved you from that first day, from the first minute he met you at the football game. Of course he had heard all about you. Anyone who gets within hearing distance of your Danno knows all about his Gracie – how much Danno loves you, how you are the center of his world, and how there is nothing he wouldn’t do for you.

Your Danno’s life changed forever the day you were born. He fell in love. Oh, he loved your mommy. And he loves his Steve. He loves his parents and sisters and his brother. But when he saw you the first time, with your cocoa brown eyes looking up at him, and your tufts of brown hair sticking up all over your perfect head, he knew his life and his heart would never be the same.

You were so brave when your Danno and your mommy decided they couldn’t live together any longer. You were too young to understand what ‘divorce’ meant. But what you have always understood is that they both love you and want only what is best for you. Not living together was hard but it was better for them and for you.

You also understood how your Danno felt about your Steve even before we did. You saw how we looked at each other and knew we were meant to be a family. Once we were finally smart enough to admit it, you gave us your blessings to get married and that was all we needed.

We know it hasn’t been easy being the eldest of the extended Williams-McGarrett/Edwards tribe. You were expected to watch out for the little ones when you would rather have been surfing with Auntie Kono or riding behind Uncle Chin on his motorcycle. You never complained. You never said it wasn’t your responsibility. You loved the other children and you protected them. There were times when you had to act more like their mother than their sister and we are grateful for that. And we are grateful for you. We cannot imagine our lives without our Gracie in it.

The other children knew that you would listen to them when they thought they had no one else to turn to. You convinced John that his fathers would still love him even when he crashed the Camaro. Of course you were the one he called. You wouldn’t yell. You would come to the police station and collect him. And you did. You kept him calm and you kept him safe until we could come for him. He was still upset when we arrived but as we talked to you, you reminded us that we were teenage boys at one time too. The car could be replaced. And he knew it was going to be okay. You had promised and you kept it.

You are the one who explained the intricacies of womanhood to Emma. We dreaded the day when she would come to us and say it had started. She wasn’t our baby any longer. We were as prepared to handle it as we possibly could be. Then you invited her to your apartment the day she turned 12 and told her what to expect, what would happen, what was already happening to her body. On that fateful day when womanhood came to her, she was prepared. One phone call to you and she was ready. ‘It’s handled, Dads,’ was all she said. And we never had to discuss it again.

When you decided to go to law school, we couldn’t have been more pleased with your decision. And then you chose to join the distract attorney’s office, helping to convict the criminals we track down and throw into jail. (Because you know we would never arrest anyone who isn’t guilty.) Life enforcement is even more like our family business now, and we sleep better knowing you are prosecuting the bad guys instead of chasing them down.

Now that you are all/mostly grown up, we can’t imagine where the time has gone, as cliché as we know that sounds. We have watched you blossom into the beautiful, amazing woman that you are. When you get married tomorrow, you will be adding to our family, not leaving it. You will be moving out of our house but not our hearts. You are bringing Aomu into the Williams-McGarrett/ Edwards clan and we welcome him. You would not have said yes to him if he had not always understood that marrying you is accepting us all – accepting our inherent craziness, our arguments, our traditions, our love of one another. He has accepted that all five children have two sets of parents and we love you all. Now we will have six children to spoil and love and have with us for holidays and barbeques on the beach.

We love you, Gracie. You were our first and you will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Our dearest Alicia,

You will always hold a special place in our hearts.

You were our second child. There are those who would say we have no parental claim on you. We can’t agree with that. All five of the Williams-McGarrett/ Edwards children have two sets of parents. Anyone who doesn’t understand that cannot understand how love-ties, not blood ties alone, make an ohana.

You know that Danno was disappointed when it turned out that you weren’t his blood daughter. The joy he felt when Rachel said he was your father turned into sadness and resignation when she realized that the timing of your conception was off.

That he did not give you life never meant he loved you less. Both of us love you as though we are your biological fathers. When you arrived in our lives, we knew you were going to change us both forever. And you have. You have taught us patience – something Steve needed more of from the beginning. You have taught us humor – how could we not laugh when you dyed John’s hair purple for his third birthday. You have reminded us of the beauty of ballet, because no one else dances with the heart and soul that you bring to each of your performances.

We wish we could be in attendance at every one of your dances. But you know that our jobs make that impossible. Only keeping Hawaii safe for you and your brothers and sisters would keep us away. Because nothing is more important to us than our family.

Thank you for looking out for John and Emma and Zacchary. We know there are times when you would prefer to be away from them but you never complain. You are never unkind to them, never make them feel like a burden, never show them anything but love and kindness and patience. Thank you for showing Emma the intricacies of mascara and eyeliner. We were willing but you were capable. Thank you for convincing John that having his eyebrows pierced would be painful and obvious and, well, stupid. We wouldn’t have killed him as much as we would have been tempted. Thank you for making sure the temptation was removed altogether.

Thank you for being the remarkable, incredible daughter that you are. We love you and are thankful that you are a part of our lives.

You will reside forever in our hearts.

Our dearest John,

You will always hold a special place in our hearts.

You were the first child born to us both. When we saw you that first time, we knew our lives would never be the same. You had Steve’s brown curls and Danno’s blue eyes. And you had our hearts from that first minute.

As we watched you grow, we were amazed by your intelligence, your kindness, your sense of humor. We know that no one could survive the craziness of the Williams-McGarrett/ Edwards clan without a sense of humor. We could always count on you to make us laugh, to find the sunshine on the darkest of days.

You could have been eclipsed by the daughters older than you or the two children younger than you. That never happened. Because you have always been strong and certain of who you are. Some middle children suffer from ‘the forgotten child’ syndrome but that was never the case with you. You always loved your older sisters and the two littler kids. You amuse and entertain Grace and Alicia just as you watch out for Zacchary and Emma. You are a great big brother to them and never ever complain when they follow you around like two little shadows.

When other children were unkind to Zacchary, you stopped their taunting. You protected him and prevented it from reoccurring through humor, and by pointing out that everyone has a flaw for which they could be mocked. That’s all it took. They never singled him out again. Because they knew if they did, you would keep your promise and the blood that would be spilt on the playground would not be yours.

You know that you are named after your grandfather John McGarrett. I see a lot of my father in you and I am smile every time it happens. The tilt of your head, the knowing look you get in your eye, your unwavering sense of honor that will keep you on the right path throughout your life. Chin Ho says that there are times when you appear to be channeling your grandfather - all the best of your grandfather came to you. And that is a precious gift to me and to Mary.

The first John McGarrett would have been proud to have you as his namesake and I regret that he did not live to meet you. I am glad that through you his name will live on.

Your abilities on the football field comes as no surprise to either of us. It shows your patience, your intelligence, your ability to see and analyze all that goes on around you. That’s how you have been successful on and off the field. If you choose to continue playing in college and beyond we can’t promise to attend all of your games. We will watch as many as we can and we will root for you and brag about you and do all those things you claim to embarrass you. But that’s what happens when you have two such proud fathers.

And never doubt that we are proud of you. We love you for all that you are and all that you do.

Our dearest Zacchary,

You will always hold a special place in our hearts.

While your mom was still pregnant with you, she knew you were going to be special, different from the other children. She couldn’t tell us what the difference was but you were your own person even before you were born.

When you arrived, you didn’t act like other infants. You didn’t fuss but you never seemed happy either. The first time you looked at Steve was the first time you smiled. There was a bond between the two of us from that first moment. No one can explain it. No one questions it, not inside the Williams-McGarrett /Edwards tribe. It is the way things have always been between the two of us.

We know it’s not always easy being who you are. All children go through difficult times growing up but your life has been more difficult than most. You never resented the children who were unkind to you or the adults who did not understand you. The older Williams-McGarrett /Edwards children love and cherish you and that seems to cushion you from the sometimes harsh appraisal of strangers. They do not intend to be unkind. They are simply ignorant of what a remarkable person you really are.

Even though some of the simplest acts of social interactions defy your understanding, like they can with Steve, you know that your family loves you and there is nothing you could ever do that would change that. We know you secretly wish you were ‘normal,’ but we can assure you that none of us are really normal. There is no such thing. We all possess some aspect of human behavior that is a mystery to the rest of us, like Danno’s inability to know when to finally stop talking.

What most people don’t have is your genius for computers. None of us doubt that you will be the one that initiates the next generation of computers, in the same way that Bill Gates and Steve Jobs did. You already understand how they work far better than anyone your age should. Better even than Chin Ho does. And all of our computers are more powerful and more efficient because you have worked your magic on them. It’s only a matter of time before Zacchary Edwards is the one all other computer geniuses turn to for the latest in software enhancement and development.

There are those who cannot believe that your Stan isn’t jealous of the relationship you share with Steve. They cannot understand that you and Steve share a bond that goes beyond blood. It is spiritual, and it is indefinable. And Stan understands the nature and reality of it.

When anyone has the nerve to ask Stan, he tells them about the weekend you spent with us when you were two and a half years old. When you got to our house, you were in diapers. When you went home with Stan and Rachel, you were potty trained. You decided that if Steve wore big-boy underpants, you needed to as well. He still has the Superman briefs that he bought to match yours. Even though Danno has tried to throw them out a hundred of times, Steve won’t let them go. When you make your first million dollars, which we know will be before your 21^st birthday, you can buy him new ones. And we won’t tell anyone if you buy yourself Superman briefs to match.

Never doubt that all of the Williams-McGarrett /Edwards love you unconditionally. They long ago promised to watch out for you, give you a hand when you need it, accept your help when they require it. We know that you love all of your ohana even when you are overwhelmed by them. We overwhelm ourselves sometimes so we understand when you need a time-out away from the madness of the tribe. We will always welcome you with open arms and open hearts when you are ready to return.

We love you. You will never have reason to doubt that.

Our dearest Emma,

You will always hold a special place in our hearts.

As the youngest of the Williams-McGarrett /Edwards tribe you will always have to put up with two over-protective fathers, two very protective big brothers, and two doting sisters. You could have been overwhelmed by those who came before you but you never were.

We would never say you have taken advantage of your place as the baby sister. You do have a remarkable capacity for using the lessons learned by the older members of the ohana to avoid having to train your fathers. By the time you were born, we knew how much leeway we could give you without spoiling you. When we could say yes when our first instinct would be to say no. When to stay tough and when to pretend your smile changed our minds.

As much as we know you love being the baby sister, we also know that you could have been overwhelmed by those who came before you. You could have taken the easy way and followed in their footsteps, do what they have always done, be a reflection of the older children. Instead, you made your own path and you follow your own spirit.

While all the other children love to swim, you are a true aquababy. You are never happier than when you are in the water. We have no doubt that you will be the first female SEAL because we have seen for ourselves that once you make up your mind, nothing will stand in  your way. The other children are in awe of your ability to swim almost endlessly, keeping up with Steve and even tiring him out when he’s been away from the water for any length of time.

As much as we (mostly Danno) like to grumble about the constant parade of friends you bring to the house, you know the truth - that we love having them with us for picnics and dinner and afternoons on the beach. Their joy is a reflection of yours – the happiness you bring with you wherever you go. Laughing is your default setting which is one of the many reasons your friends, and even strangers, flutter around you like so many moths drawn to your light. Kono who is no slouch in the happiness department says she doesn’t know anyone as innately cheerful as you are. When you tried to learn to surf, falling off the board more times than you could count, you popped up laughing each and every time. She’s never known anyone more resilient than you are.

We aren’t surprised. We have seen your determination, your strength, your ability to make the very best of any situation. Because it can’t be easy to be the only girl living full time in our house. We don’t really believe you have to cut through the testosterone with a knife as you like to claim. That doesn’t mean that we really want to let you practice putting mascara on Steve (even though I have the eyelashes for it, as you always remind me) or perfecting your curling techniques on Danny’s hair (or even straightening it for me) or getting John to help you make one more Barbie dress (he still doesn’t understand why he’s the one who had to learn to sew). As much as we like to grumble about what you ‘forced’ us to do, you know we wouldn’t trade a second of those times for all the tea in China. (Of course as you’ve often asked, what would we do with all that tea if we had it?)

You are our youngest, our last child. And we could not wish for anyone other than you to hold that very special place. Our lives are fuller, more complete because you are in it. Never doubt that we love you with all of our hearts and all of our souls.

With all of our love,

Your Daddies