//Where are you going?// Jim asked when he finally emerged from the sleep enveloping his mind. Spock was in his uniform, gathering several data chips.

“It is time for Alpha shift, love,” Spock explained, sitting next to him.

//Oh,// Jim said with a sigh.

“I will let the doctor know you are awake. He can bring you something to eat.”

//I’m not hungry,// Jim decided.

“All right,” Spock agreed. “He still needs to come.”

Jim nodded, closing his eyes against the pain threatening to overwhelm him.

“Is it worse this morning?” Spock asked, gently stroking his forehead with the lines of strain.

//I don’t know why. Go to the Bridge. I’ll be fine.//

Spock reluctantly stood, wishing he could stay but understanding that there was nothing more he could do when he was expected for his shift. “Let me know if you need me.”

//I will.//

Spock nodded, contacting the doctor before leaving their quarters, Bones promising he’d be there shortly.

Jim stared up at their ceiling as he waited, wondering why the pain seemed to have increased exponentially. And how was he going to tell Bones anything?

He watched as the door opened to admit Bones who crossed over to sit on the bed next to him.

“Bad, huh?” Bones asked in sympathy.

Jim nodded, pretending to write in the air.

Bones understood, going to Jim’s desk for a pad of paper and a pen, handing them over.

“Worse than last night,” Jim wrote in his surprisingly tidy handwriting.

“I’m sorry. Were you sleeping on your side?”

Jim shrugged.

“That was probably it,” Bones said as he scanned Jim’s jaw. “Everything looks okay. Some swelling. A lot of bruising.”

“No shit,” Jim wrote.

“How can you be a smartass when you can’t even talk?” Bones demanded.

“Comes naturally,” Jim informed him.

“Obviously. Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?”

Jim shook his head, his expression making it clear he no longer wanted to even discuss food.

“Okay. You’ll let me give you the hypo for the pain?” Bones asked, taking it out of his waistband.

Jim nodded, closing his eyes and sighing when the shot was done.

“I’ll wait until you’re asleep,” Bones promised. “And if you need me, comm me. I’ll know it’s you.”

Jim nodded again, pointing up to the ceiling.

“Yes, Spock can also tell me,” Bones agreed. “Think you can make it to mess for lunch?”

Jim shrugged, not wanting to have to consider it. It seemed like way too much trouble.

“Alright. When you wake up, you can decide,” Bones said. “Did you have bad dreams last night?”

Jim shook his head, pulling the covers up higher.

“Are you cold?” Bones asked, helping settle the comforter over his shoulders and just beneath his chin.

Jim pointed to Spock’s empty pillow for an answer.

“Only because Spock isn’t here,” Bones realized. “Do you want another blanket?”

Jim shook his head at that. He slowly opened his eyes, a familiar gleam shining in them. He reached over for the pad and pen, writing his question.

Bones shook his head at the question. “Unbelievable. I had to surgically repair your jaw and wire your mouth closed. And you want to know how long before you can have sex?”

Jim shrugged at that, looking up at him in complete innocence.

“I know. You two are so much in love it’s nearly…visible.”

Jim nodded in agreement wishing he could smile in pure happiness.

//I love you too,// Spock told him.

//Stop eavesdropping on me,// Jim complained with a laugh.

“Where did you go?” Bones asked with a suspicious frown.

Jim shrugged, refusing to look at him.

“Spock is on duty. Stop flirting with him,” Bones scolded.

Jim would have yawned if he could have, Bones sensing his growing sleepiness. “Go on to sleep, Jim. I’ll be right here until you’re out.”

Jim nodded, surrendering to the exhaustion of the pain and to the injection, drifting off to a soundless sleep.

_o0o

“Dr. McCoy,” Spock said into the intercom, the urgency in his voice attracting the attention of the entire Bridge. “Report to our quarters immediately.” Without waiting for a response, Spock went to the turbolift, turning command over to Sulu.

Bones rushed into their quarters, finding Jim tangled in the covers, his arms flailing, making sounds that might have been words if he could have formed them. “Jim,” Bones said, reaching over to try and calm him. “Wake up, Jim. Everything’s okay.” He continued to talk soothingly to him, Jim’s agitation not diminishing. Bones was relieved when Spock finally entered. “I can’t get through to him.”

Spock nodded in understanding, sitting next to Jim and placing his fingers on the meld points. The turmoil he encountered was nearly overwhelming. There were fists flying through the air, no arms attached, battering them. There was a storm all around them, heavy winds nearly knocking them over, the rain stinging their faces and bare arms. Thunder roared in the background, lightening rending the sky. //Jim,// Spock said, reaching out to touch him in his nightmare.

//No,// Jim yelled, knocking away his hand. //No. Get away from me.//

//It is me, t’hy’la. Come to me, // Spock coaxed. Jim took a wild swing at him and Spock knew he visibly flinched when the nightmare fist impacted his eye. //Why are you angry? What can I do to help? //

//Leave me alone you pirate, // Jim screamed at him.

Spock carefully withdrew, looking at McCoy. “He does not know me.”

Bones scanned him quickly, finding his temperature alarmingly high. “He’s developed an infection. His temperature is 39.5. Help me get him into the shower.”

Spock picked Jim up, holding tight as he struggled against Spock’s grasp. “Shhh, love. It is all right.”

Bones had gotten to the bathroom first, turning on the cold water. “I know it’s going to be hard on you,” he said to Spock. “I’ll hold him if you need me to.”

Spock shook his head, standing in the water, letting it cascade down onto Jim.

“I have to contact Medical Bay for antibiotics. I’ll be right back,” McCoy told Spock who nodded in understanding as he continued to hold Jim despite his efforts to escape.

//It is me, t’hy’la,// Spock tried again, reaching for the very essence of his bondmate. If he could get past the nightmare, he’d be able to find the Jim who would recognize him. //T’hy’la,// he called, Jim turning his head to stare at him. There was the faintest gleam of recognition.

//Spock?// Jim replied, staring at him.

//Come to me,// Spock coaxed.

“How is he?” Bones asked but Spock could not respond. Jim was calming and Spock did not want to turn his attention away as he slowly approached.

//Where are we?// Jim asked, still wary, not letting Spock get too close.

//In your nightmare, love. Come take my hand and I’ll lead us out.//

Jim shook his head at that, looking up at the rain that had become even colder. //Make the storm stop.//

//I cannot. It is your dream.//

//I’m so hot,// Jim said, letting the rain fall on his face.

//You have a fever. That is why the nightmare is so bad,// Spock explained.

//A fever? What does that mean?//

//It happens sometimes when you have a fracture. If you will come with me and wake up, you will feel better,// Spock promised.

Jim shook his head again, taking one step backward.

//Why are you frightened of me, t’hy’la?// Spock asked gently.

//Thorns,// Jim said, backing up a little more.

//I removed them. I did not put them in your jaw. Are there more hurting you?//

Jim nodded, carefully rubbing his jaw. //Hurts.//

//I know it does. Come with me and we can make it stop.//

//You can?// Jim asked, a tiny note of pleading in his voice.

//Yes I can. But you must take my hand and come with me. I would never hurt you. You know that,// Spock said, holding his hand out toward Jim who stared at it for a long moment. Finally deciding, Jim put his hand into Spock’s, willingly following Spock to the surface.

He woke with a start, choking on the water that caught him off guard. Bones reached in and turned off the shower, wrapping them both in a blanket when Spock carried Jim out.

//I’m so sorry,// Jim said, hiding his face against Spock’s chest.

“You have no reason to be. It was the fever,” Spock assured him, sitting in one of the chairs, Jim on his lap.

“How are you, Jim?” Bones asked from where he squatted in front of them.

//Embarrassed. Hot. Cold. My mouth is…really sore.//

“Both hot and cold. And in a great deal of pain,” Spock responded for him.

“I’m sorry, Jim. I should have been more vigilant about the fever,” Bones said in apology.

Jim shook his head, a shiver wracking his body.

“You need to change,” Bones said to Spock. “I’ll help Jim. Will that be okay?”

Jim nodded, standing with Bones’ help, Spock getting a fresh pair of pajamas for Jim before stripping out of his own soaked clothes. By the time he was dry and had on a new uniform, McCoy had Jim in his pajamas and was helping him to the bed. Spock went to the door when the chime sounded, accepting the med kit from one of Bones’ yeomen.

“Thank you,” Bones said, accepting it.

“Is it possible for him to have some coffee?” Spock asked McCoy on Jim’s behalf.

“When you wake up, I’ll get you some,” Bones promised. “I have to give you antibiotics and a pain reliever. You’ve had them before so we know you aren’t allergic to them.”

Jim nodded, holding tightly to Spock’s hand as Bones gave him the two shots, trying to suppress his discomfort at them. //I’m sorry.//

//You have no reason to apologize,// Spock assured him. “I will stay with him.”

//Go to the Bridge,// Jim said.

“I am staying here,” Spock informed him to McCoy’s nods.

//That’s an order,// Jim tried.

“You are currently relieved of command, sir. You cannot order me to do anything,” Spock told him with a kiss.

Jim sighed and nodded, letting his eyes drift closed. //Can you get in bed for a minute?//

Spock climbed into bed next to him, pulling the covers up.

“How are you feeling, Jim?” Bones asked, feeling guilty about Jim being so sick.

//Tell him it’s not his fault, please. When haven’t I gotten a fever from an injury?//

//I believe that will be small comfort,// Spock pointed out.

//Tell him I don’t blame him. And I love him. Not as much as I love you. But still. A lot. A lot more than…//

//You are babbling, love,// Spock said in amusement.

//I know. Sorry. I think I don’t want to go back to sleep,// he admitted.

“He wants you to know that you are not at fault. And he says that he loves you,” Spock said to McCoy who had to laugh.

“Thank you both. Now stop fightin’ it and go on to sleep.”

“I will go to sleep with him. To help control his fever and his nightmares,” Spock said, receiving Jim’s embarrassed gratitude over their bond.

“Alright. I’ll come back in an hour to check on you both. I know I don’t have to,” McCoy said, holding a hand to stop the protests. “I need to, for myself. And I’ll let the Bridge know.”

“Thank you,” Spock agreed, making sure the covers were snug around Jim who was laying pressed up against him.

//Take your uniform off.//

“Is that wise?” Spock asked.

“What?” Bones asked.

//Please. I won’t even touch you. I just need to feel your skin.//

“Very well,” Spock agreed, sitting up to pull off his shirts. Bones nodded in understanding, accepting and setting them aside. When Spock shimmed out of his pants, he also handed those to McCoy.

//Thanks,// Jim sighed, one hand on Spock’s thigh. More than anything he wanted to turn on his side and rest his head on Spock’s shoulder but he knew he couldn’t.

“You’ll be able to sleep on your side soon,” Bones said.

“How did you know he was thinking that?” Spock asked, betraying some surprise at the accuracy of the doctor’s statement.

“Experience. He almost always sleeps on his side, especially with you,” Bones said.

“Yes. With you as well?”

“Not usually. And if he did, it was with his back to me,” Bones said.

//Stop talking about me like I’m not here,// Jim requested.

“Go to sleep, t’hy’la,” Spock said. He turned on his side, one warm arm draped across Jim’s stomach. Jim held onto Spock’s arm, his lifeline and connection to a world not filled with pain and nightmares. Spock knew it wasn’t long before Jim fell asleep, Dr. McCoy silently leaving their quarters, taking his guilt with him.

Spock considered Jim’s condition as he lay quietly, careful to keep his thoughts to himself. He did not hold Dr. McCoy responsible for the fever that had caught them off-guard. Jim’s reaction to illnesses and injuries was always unpredictable, never the same from one time to the next. Spock could feel that Jim was still unnaturally warm under his arm but the fever was slowly going down. Taking a deep breath and calming his rampant thoughts, he entered a light state of meditation, enough to rest but not so deep that he wouldn’t know when Jim needed him.

As Jim slept, he began dreaming about Spock, seeing him on the beach Spock had given them earlier. Spock joined him, keeping them both safe and the weather calm. Spock could not generally influence the contents of Jim’s dreams, his mind far too strong and dynamic for Spock to exert the necessary control. But with Jim feeling unwell, Spock was able to guide the dream into remaining peaceful and reassuring.

_o0o

When Spock woke, it was to find Jim watching him. “What are you doing?”

//I love watching you sleep,// Jim returned sending love over their bond.

“Mmm…” Spock sighed. “The pain has subsided?”

//Thankfully,// Jim agreed. //I have some body aches from the fever.//

“Yes,” Spock said sitting up. “Should we try taking a shower?”

//Not yet. I don’t think I’m completely awake yet. Thanks for stopping the nightmares.//

“I would never allow you to suffer if I could prevent it,” Spock reminded him.

//I know. And I want you to stop feeling responsible for what happened on that stupid planet. The Federation should have made sure they were ready. That doesn’t make it your fault.//

“I know it is not,” Spock said. “Believing it is more difficult.”

//I know,// Jim sighed, slowly and carefully sitting up. //Will you help me to the bathroom?//

Spock left the bed, helping Jim leave as well, walking him over to the bathroom. When Jim was finished, he decided he didn’t want to take the trouble to shower, returning back to his bed. “Tomorrow you can eat in the mess.”

//Yeah,// Jim agreed wearily. //Do you need to contact Bones?//

“You won’t mind him coming?” Spock teased.

//On the whole, I’d rather not but I know I have no choice.//

“Very mature,” Spock said turning to contact the doctor. “Are you hungry?” Spock asked Jim.

//I think so,// Jim decided.

“He said that he is,” Spock told McCoy who said he would bring him something to eat and would arrive soon.

//When he gets here, will you go make rounds please?// Jim requested as Spock put on his uniform. The fact that neither of them had checked in with all the departments in several days was making Jim feel disconnected and a little worried. Not actively like he didn’t trust his crew. But what if they needed him while he was unavailable to them?

“I will, t’hy’la. I will chat with as many of your crew as possible, letting them know that you are recovering and will be back among them in a few days,” Spock promised.

//You miss them too. You just won’t admit to having a sentimental attachment to them,// Jim said.

“It would be useless to deny the truth,” Spock said, looking over at the door as Bones entered, a bowl in his hands.

“Let me check you out then you can eat,” Bones said, handing the bowl to Spock.

Jim nodded reluctantly, patiently waiting as Bones scanned him, placing his palm on Jim’s forehead to check the old fashioned way to see if his fever had subsided. With a nod, Bones accepted the bowl back from Spock, handing it to Jim.

//Why isn’t he talking to me?//

“Is there a reason you are not talking to Jim?” Spock asked on his behalf.

“What? Oh no. I’m sorry, Jim. Preoccupied I guess. You are looking much better,” Bones said with a smile.

Jim nodded at that eating more of the oatmeal. //Coffee?//

“Can he have some coffee?” Spock asked.

“A little. Not too hot,” Bones agreed.

“I will make it before I go,” Spock said, going to Jim’s coffee maker to prepare it.

“Going to make rounds?” Bones asked, already sure of the answer.

//Is anything going on that he knows about?// Jim asked Spock as he continued to eat the oatmeal.

“Do you have any ship’s news?” Spock asked Bones.

“Not really. I think everyone is so busy being worried about you, they don’t have time for anything else,” Bones told Jim.

//Just as well,// Jim said, Spock repeating it for him.

“Think you can make it to the mess tomorrow for lunch?” Bones asked, carefully removing the oatmeal that had spilled down the side of Jim’s mouth.

//Yeah. I’m feeling a lot better.//

“He is feeling better,” Spock said with a nod. “As long as there is no oatmeal, he would like to try it.”

“No oatmeal, I promise,” Bones agreed. “Go make rounds. I’ll wait for you.”

Spock nodded again, giving Jim the pad of paper and the pen so that they could chat in his absence. Certain they would be okay while he was gone, he left their quarters to wander the ship, no particular destination in mind. He chatted with each person he encountered, assuring them that Jim was feeling much better and planned to return to limited duty in a week’s time.

//Limited duty?// Jim asked in indignation.

//You will not be capable of working an entire shift the first few days. And do not snort at me,// Spock warned with great internal amusement.

//Whatever,// he returned, listening to Bones who was telling him about the messy breakup of two of his yeomen. The story was amusing and not the least bit important but Jim was enjoying the sound of Bones’ voice as he speculated on the final results.

“As far as I know, they still aren’t speakin’,” Bones told him.

Jim wrote a response on his paper, Bones agreeing that they weren’t really meant for each other. Seeing that Jim’s bowl was empty, Bones accepted it, going over to get him some coffee. The cup was only half full, extra cream to help cool it down. “Try it with the spoon,” Bones recommended when Jim had the cup cradled in his hands, inhaling the delicious aroma.

Jim used the spoon, finding it the best way to enjoy the coffee, slowly but gratefully. He drank it all, looking at Bones in open pleading.

“Alright. A little more,” Bones finally conceded, pouring another half cup and giving it to him. “You have an addictive personality. You know that right?”

“Especially where Spock is concerned,” Jim wrote, almost smirking at his friend.

Bones had to shake his head at that. “Yeah, I know. But that’s not what I meant.”

Jim nodded at that, enjoying more of the precious coffee. “Do you know our next orders?”

“No. I expect that Admiral Pike will contact us when they have it figured out. You and Spock might want to contact him tomorrow. I know he’s really worried about you.”

Jim nodded again, finishing the coffee and returning his cup to Bones.

“Are you ready to go back to sleep?” Bones asked, straightening his covers as Jim slid lower in the bed.

Jim wished he could tell Bones to stop fussing but even if he could speak, he wouldn’t be able to stop Bones from caring for him in whatever way he could. That Bones loved Jim was beyond question, and he took it personally whenever Jim was ill or injured. And Jim loved him even more for that, for the sense of security and dependability it gave to him, as much as Jim pretended he hated Bones’ mothering. All those thoughts swirled through his head as he gave his own version of an answer to Bones’ question, pointing to Spock’s pillow.

“Alright. He shouldn’t be much longer. Do you know where he is?”

Jim closed his eyes for a moment before opening them to reach over for the paper. “Engineering. Talking to Scotty.”

“Talking to or listening to?” Bones asked with a knowing smile.

“Listening,” Jim confirmed.

“I figured,” Bones said.

//May Mr. Scott realign the dilithium chamber?// Spock asked Jim.

//What are the ramifications for the ship while he’s doing it?// Jim asked in return. He wrote a note to Bones, explaining the conversation he was having with Spock.

//He said that the warp engines will be off-line only three hours.//

//Do you think that’s accurate?// Jim asked.

//I have no data to support nor contradict his assertion.//

//Tell him I’d rather wait until we know what our next orders are. I’m going to see if we can get leave soon, on a spacestation,// Jim said.

//Very well,// Spock agreed, relaying the message to Mr. Scott who agreed to wait. It wasn’t critical that he perform the realignment but he was certain it would increase efficiency when it was completed. //I am on my way back to our quarters.//

//Good.// Jim wrote Bones a note to let him know that Spock was on his way.

“Alright,” Bones said, studying Jim with a critical eye.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Jim wrote adding a frowny face to his note.

“I’m not looking at you in any particular way,” Bones claimed.

“Liar. That look usually ends up with me on a biobed.”

“Not this time,” Bones promised with a great warmth. “I just wish there was something more I could do for you.”

“You are. You are being my friend.”

“Thank you,” Bones said, adding a smiley face to the end of Jim’s note, Jim nodding in approval.

It wasn’t much longer before Spock returned, Bones left, Jim fell asleep comforted by Spock’s presence.