OWNED pt 2/?

WARNINGS: This story is rated a hard NC-17 for a reason. It includes images of non-consensual corporal punishment, involuntary (albeit temporary) confinement, what might be viewed as head-games. If any of those concepts are triggers for you, please please don't read it!!!!

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The darkness slowly receded and he allowed his eyes to open. There was a very dim light illuminating the room, enough that he could make out Bones and Spock laying in the bed next to him. They were on their sides, spooning. Bones was in the front, Spock’s arm draped protectively over him outside the covers. Spock’s nose was buried in Bones’ hair as though it contained the oxygen he depended on to live.

Jim considered the picture before him. He made it a habit to leave as soon as they finished having sex. As it was always in Spock’s or McCoy’s quarters, he slipped out and returned to his own where he would take a shower and spend at least an hour on paperwork. It never occurred to him that Spock and Bones spent the night together.

He and Spock, and he and Bones, had sex by themselves in between the times all three of them were together. He supposed he knew that Spock and Bones also were together but he had never considered their coupling before. If he weren’t involved, it wasn’t real to him.

From the comfortable, familiar way they lay entwined, sleeping together was a frequent occurrence. Jim wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, although he readily acknowledged that he had no say over it. It felt…strange. As though he was the third wheel. A peripheral part of the relationship and not core to it.

“We love you equally,” Spock said very quietly. Jim met his warm, brown eyes to find Spock studying him intently.

“Do you?” Jim whispered, sorry that his voice broke when he asked the question.

“Do you have reason to doubt it?” Spock asked in turn.

“I’m chained face down to the bed with welts all over my back. So yeah. I think I have some reason to doubt it,” Jim said, his voice harder.

“That’s on you,” Bones said quietly, untangling one hand from the covers to reach over to stroke Jim’s sweaty hair. Jim would have dodged that hand but it seemed like way too much of an effort.

“You wouldn’t if you were me?” Jim asked. “Do I have permission to talk?”

“Maybe. Yes,” Bones said gently. “Are you thirsty?”

Jim reluctantly nodded, watching Spock gracefully leave the bed and go over to the door that led to the kitchen. When he returned, he was carrying a large glass of water with a straw. “What time is it?” Jim asked as Spock sat next to him.

“Why?” Bones asked, watching Jim as he sipped from the glass.

Jim shrugged, drinking more. “I feel out of place.”

“I believe that is to be expected,” Spock said.

Jim made no response except for sipping a little more water. “Thanks.”

“Do you need to go to the bathroom?” Bones asked him.

“Could I take a shower?” Jim asked in return.

“Not until morning,” Bones said, letting his eyes drift closed. “So you don’t need to pee?”

“No,” Jim said, sighing.

“How’s your back? Do you need more spray?”

“I don’t understand why you inflict the pain just to take it away,” Jim admitted.

“An object lesson,” Spock said, his long fingers combing through Jim’s matted hair.

“So I’ve heard,” Jim said in a weary voice. “It’s not really a helpful answer.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Bones promised. “Go to sleep.”

Jim made a noncommittal noise, watching as Spock returned to bed, slipping in behind Bones and putting his arm back over his chest. The warmth and familiarity of the gesture brought an unwelcome heat to Jim’s face which was not jealousy. It wasn’t.

~o0o~

It was their voices that woke him the next time. They were simply chatting, probably in the comfortable chairs positioned not too far from the bed. The sounds of their voices felt safe to him… like home. He didn’t want to be so happy to have their voices in his ears but he was.

He turned toward them, Bones smiling back.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Bones said brightly.

“Huh,” Jim grunted, burying his face in his pillow.

“Stiff and sore?” Bones guessed.

Jim nodded, closing his eyes to see if he could will away some of the pain. Of course it didn’t work. He knew it wouldn’t. But it had been worth a try.

He opened his eyes when the edge of the bed shifted, Spock next to him. “Would you care to shower?”

Jim nodded, waiting as Spock unlocked his wrist and ankle. Spock helped him to sit up, surprising Jim that it wasn’t more painful than it was. The spray Bones applied must have helped restore elasticity to his marred skin so moving wasn’t as difficult as he had anticipated.

Once he was sitting on the edge of the bed, Spock locked his wrists together, studying Jim from where he knelt before him. “We are willing to leave your ankles free if you assure us you will deserve the consideration.”

Jim turned those words over in his head. What they were saying was that he could be docile or they could make him that way. The choice was now his. Would he be able to suppress his natural instinct to fight, knowing he wasn’t truly in any danger?

He cleared his throat, looking at Spock with a question in his eyes.

“Yes,” Spock said, nodding.

“I’ll try. What happens if instincts take over?” Jim asked.

“You know what the results will be,” Spock reminded him.

“I’ll be punished,” Jim said.

“Yes,” Spock confirmed. “The choice is yours. I can secure your ankles if you are concerned that you will not deserve that freedom.”

Jim looked from Spock to Bones who was watching from beside the bed. Bones was wearing jeans and a light blue shirt, looking much finer than any human being had the right to look. And why was he ever considering that? How dare his lust make an appearance now of all times?

Maybe it wasn’t just Bones in his jeans. Maybe it was also Spock in his black silk pants and his emerald green silk top that was renewing Jim’s interest in his two friends as more. His libido always did have horrible timing and this was no exception.

“Get your mind out of the gutter for 5 seconds and answer Spock’s question,” Bones laughed.

Jim squinted at Bones, hoping he would recognize the evil eye when he was on the receiving end. “I’d like them free,” Jim finally said. “Please.”

Spock nodded, helping Jim stand. Making sure he was steady on his feet, Spock escorted Jim into the bathroom and over to the toilet. As Jim was taking care of his business, Spock turned on the shower to heat up, waiting until Jim was ready.

“Can you do it yourself?” Spock asked as he helped Jim into the steaming water.

“I can’t wash my hair,” Jim said.

Spock nodded. “I will wash it for you. Then we will have breakfast.”

Jim stood under the cascade of hot water, enjoying the feel of it beating down on his skin. He glanced over to watch dispassionately as Spock shed his clothes, stepping into the shower behind him. “I can do it.”

Spock nodded, putting plenty of soap in his cupped palms before rubbing the soap onto the coiled muscles of Jim’s body. “There is no reason for you to remain tense. You are safe with me.”

“How can I know that?”

“Because I have told you,” Spock said, kneeling before Jim to wash his feet and legs.

Jim watched him before slowly nodding. “May I ask a question?”

“Yes,” Spock agreed.

“Where are we?”

“Why?” Spock asked in return. Not in challenge but in a request for clarification.

“I told you – I feel disconnected. I don’t know where I am; what day it is; what time it is.”

“Is that so bad a thing?” Spock asked. “We have no schedules to keep. No rotations to maintain.”

Jim had to nod in agreement with that. “I would have had that on Tahiti.”

“Yes,” Spock said, standing and reaching for the shampoo.

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” Jim guessed, closing his eyes as Spock carefully washed his hair, keeping the soap out of his face.

“Not at the moment. We will have breakfast. Perhaps we will discuss it further.”

“Perhaps?” Jim asked.

“It is not solely my decision,” Spock explained.

“Yeah,” Jim agreed, tilting his head back so the rest of the shampoo could run out.

“Are you ready to leave?” Spock asked, patiently waiting for him to decide.

“Yes,” Jim decided, stepping out of the shower, Spock making sure he didn’t lose his balance. Jim stood still as Spock very carefully dried him, secretly enjoying the attention and the warmth of the towel as well as the action.

“Would you like shorts?” Spock offered when he stood before Jim, the towel disposed of in the hamper.

“Yes,” Jim agreed, not questioning the generosity of the offer. If he could avoid being kept naked, he’d feel…less out of control. More like he had some say over what was going on. He stepped into the shorts when Spock held them open, leaning on Spock to make sure he remained upright as Spock pulled them up.

“Come and eat,” Spock said when he had his own clothes back on, leaving the bathroom, certain that Jim would follow. Jim trailed along behind, going over to the table that was set for three.

“Sit,” Bones directed, waving at the table. “I have your coffee. You want pancakes or oatmeal?”

“Pancakes, please,” Jim requested, watching Bones leave through the door to the kitchen before focusing on Spock. “What is happening today?”

“What do you want to happen?” Spock asked.

“I don’t think I’m in any position to decide that,” Jim said, looking down at the chain between his wrists.

“On the contrary. It is entirely up to you, within certain boundaries,” Spock told him.

“It’s those boundaries that are the problem,” Bones commented when he returned with a steaming cup of coffee.

“What are the boundaries?” Jim asked, sipping the coffee and trying to prevent the pleasure from showing on his face.

“What do you want to do, Jim? We’ll let you know if it’s possible or not,” Bones said, standing over him to study him.

“Go swimming,” Jim said wistfully.

“Tomorrow,” Bones promised.

“Oh,” Jim said. “Really?”

“Of course. We aren’t going to lie to you,” Bones assured him, going back through the door to the kitchen.

“How long will we be here?” Jim asked Spock between his sips of coffee.

“That is also up to you,” Spock said.

“Oh,” Jim said, not really surprised. He watched Bones return with two plates filled with fluffy pancakes, a server of syrup already on the table.

“If I cut them up, can you eat them?” Bones asked him when he sat at the table.

Jim nodded, glancing at Bones then Spock. “May I ask a question?”

“Yes,” Spock agreed, eating more of his fruit.

“Why are you doing this? To me?” Jim asked. His voice was carefully blank, his best negotiation non-expression on his face.

“Try telling us,” Bones said as he continued cutting Jim’s pancakes into bite size pieces. “We aren’t withholding the information. But you have probably figured it out by now.”

Jim shook his head, reaching for his fork when Bones was finished. He took in a forkful of pancakes, studying one friend than the other. “Why?”

“Where were we going on shoreleave?” Bones asked him.

“You were going to Georgia. Spock was going to New Vulcan,” Jim said with a certainty he in no way felt. He wasn’t really surprised when Bones shook his head. “No?”

“No. I was going to New Vulcan with Spock. Then we were going to meet you in Tahiti.”

“Oh,” Jim said, considering those words. “Did you tell me that?”

“Did you ask?” Spock asked return.

“I must have. I always do. Don’t I?”

“There was a time. That is not always the case any longer,” Spock said, a tone of resignation, regret? Jim wasn’t completely sure.

“It’s not?” Jim asked, staring down at his pancakes. At least they weren’t mad at him.

“When is my birthday?” Bones asked, drinking his orange juice.

“It’s… it was about three weeks ago,” Jim realized.

“And did we have steaks, potatoes, and expensive bourbon like we have every year since I threatened to throw up on you on the shuttle?”

“No,” Jim admitted softly. “Did you two celebrate?”

“We did,” Spock confirmed. “However, Leonard’s feelings were…hurt.”

“I’m sorry,” Jim said, not able to meet the concerned eyes of his friends.

“Elder Spock has tried on multiple occasions to contact you. You will not accept nor return his communications,” Spock said in a softly scolding tone.

Jim nodded, still staring down at his bound hands.

“When was the last time you talked to Winona?” Bones asked in the same tone.

Jim shrugged, looking up at them. He would not be schooled like this. Not when there was an ounce of fight left in him. “I’m really busy. Being Captain…”

“Is no excuse to ignore your friends or family,” Bones interrupted. “You can’t do it by yourself. When did you begin to believe you could?”

Jim breathed deeply before slowly standing. He turned his back to his friends, pacing the space in front of the table.

“Answer the question, Jim,” Spock requested.

Jim shook his head, his back still to them.

“Jim,” Bones said in coaxing. “You aren’t invincible. We know you want to believe you are. We wish you were. But you’re not. You’re human. Super-human at times, yes. But still human at the end of the day.”

“That’s not good enough,” Jim said in an explosion of anger. “If I were superhuman, the shuttle wouldn’t have crashed killing my six crew members. If I were a better Captain, Spock wouldn’t have been in sickbay in a coma for three weeks. You can’t know what it’s like. To fail…to come up short, no matter what….”

“How is the shuttle crash your fault?” Bones asked gently.

“It’s all my fault. All of it. I’m responsible. And when I fuck up, I’m the one who has to write the letters. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jones, I regret to inform you…”

“We’re in a dangerous business, Jim. We all know that. You didn’t cause the shuttle to crash any more than you caused Spock to be in a coma.”

“I’m still responsible. Don’t you get that?” Jim asked in a hard, angry tone.

“What you fail to understand is that destroying yourself will not keep us safe,” Spock said evenly, warmly.

“I have no intention of destroying myself,” Jim lashed out at him. “What makes you think I would?”

“For the first 15.87 months of your captaincy, you engaged in no fisticuffs at random drinking establishments. Your sexual relations were confined to me and Leonard. And occasionally Gaila. You slept and ate on a regular basis.” Spock stopped while Jim considered those facts.

“For the past 6 months, you’ve started fights at 4 bars that we know of, picked up eight strangers for random fucks, eaten an average of ¾ of a meal each day, and slept approximately 2.4 hours per night,” Bones said.

Jim added those facts to the ones Spock had provided and seemed to collapse under the weight of the truth. He sat on the floor, his knees drawn up, his forehead resting on his arms. “Six months.”

“Yes,” Bones agreed, squatting next to him. “About the time we lost 12 crew members in our encounter with the Klingons.”

“And the shuttle exploded the next week,” Spock added quietly. “You have been on a path of self-destruction since that time.”

Jim shook his head, refusing to look up at them.

“You denyin’ it, darlin’? That you were out to hurt yourself?” Bones asked, his fingers threaded through Jim’s still damp hair.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Jim asked in defeat. Not in accusation but in near helplessness.

“We did all that we could,” Spock reminded him. “We thought loving you would reinforce your barriers. That you would return to us and see that we are your back-up.”

“But I didn’t,” Jim said.

“That’s why we took this step,” Bones said. “We didn’t know what else to do.”

“Pike knows?” Jim asked.

“He does. He agreed with our intentions,” Spock said. “He also implied that if are unable to, as he put it, rescue you from yourself, you will be relieved of command.”

Jim nodded, clinching his eyes tight. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Bones asked gently.

Jim shrugged, slowly leaning over until he was laying on the floor, his head cradled in Spock’s lap.

“Do you honestly believe you could have stopped the shuttle from exploding?” Spock asked, his fingers running through Jim’s hair.

“Yes,” Jim whispered. “If it had been inspected one more time.”

“That wouldn’t have prevented it from running into the asteroid, Jim,” Bones reminded him. “It was a freak accident. Nothing could have prevented it.”

“If I hadn’t ordered them to the planet.”

“You were carrying out our orders,” Bones said. “They had to get the medicine to the planet.”

“It could have been you,” Jim said so softly they almost didn’t hear him.

“It could have been,” Bones agreed. “But it wasn’t. And Spock being in a coma is no more your fault than the man in the moon’s.”

“What does that mean?” Jim asked.

“You know what it means,” Bones scolded gently. “If he hadn’t entered the healing trance, the poison from the arrow would have killed him. If you had gone down, you’d be dead.”

Jim nodded at that, his breathing shallow.

“Did you think cutting off communications would go unnoticed?” Spock asked as he caressed Jim’s check.

“If I didn’t talk to anyone, they wouldn’t get hurt,” Jim whispered.

“You aren’t a walkin’ curse,” Bones said gently. “You don’t cause people harm.”

“Yes I do,” Jim said. “If I talk to First Spock, he’ll be caught up in it too.”

“He will not,” Spock said, shaking his head.

“You lost crew from the start,” Bones reminded him. “Is it the accumulation?”

“All that blood on my hands,” Jim confirmed. “It could have been yours. It was Spock’s.”

“No one’s blood is on your hands, t’hy’la,” Spock assured him. “Not mine. Not Leonard’s. Not the crew who knew every assignment could be their last.”

“That’s not helpful,” Jim said, squeezing his eyes closed, hating the hot tears that still managed to escape.

“But that makes it no less true,” Bones said. “You haven’t killed anyone. You’ve tried to kill yourself but we won’t allow it.”

“I have not tried,” Jim said.

“I don’t know what you’d call it, darlin’. It looks like a cry for help where I’m sittin’,” Bones told him.

Jim shook his head, his eyes still tightly closed. That wouldn’t block out the words of his friends, the ones that said they were truly scared for him. He didn’t like what he had done to them. Doing it to himself was one thing. Imposing on them – that was entirely different.

He only realized that he had begun to shiver uncontrollably when Spock straightened him to sitting and wrapped warm, long arms and legs around him, holding him tight.

“I have you, t’hy’la. You have nothing to fear,” Spock whispered into his ear as he continued to cradle Jim against his body.

“I…you…I…uhm….” Jim knew he wasn’t making any sense. He couldn’t seem to help it. Or to say what he needed to say. That he was sorry. That they were right. That he wasn’t worthy of their love.

“You are worthy, t’hy’la. That is what we have tried to tell you for the past 6 months. But you could not hear us.”

Jim shook his head but doubted they noticed with the uncontrollable quaking of the rest of his body. It wasn’t long before he felt the all too familiar press of the hypospray against his neck.

“Don’t fight it, darlin’. We’ve got you. Just let go,” Bones urged gently. Jim thought he had a point and relaxed so the medicine could work its magic. “Can you carry him to the bed?”

“Certainly,” Spock agreed, easily lifting the unconscious Captain to carry him over to it. They settled Jim on the mattress, Leonard covering him gently.

“I’ll stay. You go meditate,” Leonard said, climbing into the bed next to Jim. He sat close enough to touch Jim, reassuring him of his continued presence.

Spock hesitated, studying Jim’s face that finally looked relaxed, even with the traces of tears still apparent.

“He should be out for four hours. You have three hours to meditate before he even thinks about waking up,” Leonard promised, reaching up to erase the line that had formed between Spock’s eyebrows. That line spoke of his own sleepless nights, his own burdens of caring for his Captain.

“Yes,” Spock finally agreed. “I think I will go outside.”

“Good,” Leonard said. “Once the infant wakes up, we’ll take him to the beach.”

Spock nodded, a near-smile playing round his lips. “We cannot allow him in the water.”

“He’ll be fine,” Leonard said. “Go on. You’ll know if we need you.”

Spock nodded again, leaning over Jim’s prone body to kiss Leonard lightly on the lips, a promise of more. “I will return in two hours and 45 minutes.”

“That should do it,” Leonard agreed, a light twinkling in his eyes. “And I can always sedate him tonight so we can enjoy our shoreleave.”

Spock shook his head, backing up. “That hardly seems ethical.”

Leonard shrugged, smiling at Spock. “Yeah. Well. I’ll see you in a while.”

Comments

[beth]

I loved this. It wasn't a sex game; it was an intervention --and the only way it could work. Good job. Don't let the turkeys get you down.